Making dolls

I made this doll last year (along with a whole bunch of other dolls). I love these dolls so much, and they do fetch a pretty penny (this one went for $150) for Marina's school. What I don't like is "doll season." Not because I don't enjoy the process, but because I don't enjoy the rush. The fair is scheduled for the Saturday before Thanks Giving, and the doll frenzy has begun. I hold doll workshops at my home on Tuesday nights, and although I am so tired once I finally get to go to bed, there is something to be said about spending 2 hours with bright, funny, creative women that choose to do something amazing for the sake of their children's school and community.

Encouraged

This was taken in NY this summer. We had such a good time! But not so much this day because it was so terribly hot. We did have fun on the way home because we got lost and went around and around in an air conditioned comfortable car.

On a different note, I would like to ask everyone out there to send their positive thoughts to my friend Sarah. She underwent a double mastectomy yesterday and will begin chemotherapy soon. She has a very supportive husband and a lovely 16 month old baby girl. Shara is scared, but is dealing with all of this so incredibly well. I have knows Sarah since we moved in together our freshmen year at Pitzer College in Claremont, and although I can't say that we have remained close, I can say that I love her and that every time we talk or see each other its as if we had gone back in time.

Sick but somehow rejuvinated

I don't know, It must have been seeing my lovely girls up on the blog or something, but I think I'm back. Most of you out there are not reading about us anymore, and you probably don't even care about our silly goings on, but I'm going to give it a good effort, if only for our family history's sake. I'm going to blow my nose, I have a combination of illness and allergies, whatever it is is kicking me right on my behind.
Just as a catch up sort of a post. Since we returned Marina finished 1st grade. We had a good summer at home (we usually take off for Barcelona to Fernando's family). We are slowly finding our rhythm. Celeste began walking and is now unstoppable. Marina is in 2nd grade. Fernando got a book published. I am frantically making dolls for the Elves' Fair (Pasadena Waldorf School's largest event), and planning my mother's 60th birthday bash. Oh! and I forgot, working full time as a school psychologist.
I have been such a bad blogger that the cycle of non blogging just kept getting more and more dysfunctional. the more time passed the guiltier I felt, and the guiltier I felt, the less I wanted to show my face in blog world, but now that Monica has opened the flood gates, let the blogging begin.
These are the latest Celeste words: Agua? mmmmm, abre? ten, mama, papa, papi, mami, yaya, yayo, hola? tita, and in English: ball. Funny thing that occurred today: Marina's friend came over and was upset and crying with her mother when they had to go. Celeste went over to her and patted and petted her on the head. She looked worried.
Marina is a fantastic big sister. She includes Celeste in every game and makes sure that the other kids are letting her participate. Marina is also on the brink to jump into the swim team, so she is working very hard in the pool. At school, she was in the Michaelmas play. She played the part of fire with three other girls and they rocked it!
Overall we are doing very well, and hoping that we get to see the blog unioners again soon.

May 7th??

(Monica here... rogue blogger)
I am not sure if anyone out there in blogland checks dear Samantha's blog anymore. She is a bad blogger (I have told her so) I read adoption blogs as she started blogging. My favorite time to read is the travel.. and return home. My darling friend dropped off just when I would have been the most interested. Fortunate for me, I talk to her often and see her, Fernando, and her kiddos ... so I knew/know what was going on. For the rest of you.. who may only know her only in Blogland... here is a little glimpse into the goings on with Samantha, Fernando, Marina, and Celeste... They are a beautiful and happy little family. Enjoy!

a glorious day at the beach... for little Zoe's birthday
Marina


Celeste


a summer Monday in the village. Coffee and water play. perfection





blog union. oh yes, they were there. (and me too)


i love this picture!


Our lovely Fair tradition (the kids were less than pleased with the petting zoo. Marina looks forward to this. She talked about it constantly, but she did not love the goats. neither did Celeste. sisters)





Hope if there is anyone out there... this made you smile.
;) Monica

A good night's rest

Hi there, I finally opened my lap top today!
Here is a quick run down of our trip and home coming.
-Saturday at 11:50 pm I left CA on JetBlue and arrived at JFK at 8:00am Sun.
-Sunday at 11:30 pm my brother and I took off for Dubai on Emirates Air, and arrived at 8:30 pm Monday. We had a chance to look around the old part of the city and have a great dinner. We spent the night in the Meridian Hotel.
-Tuesday at 8:00am, we left Dubai and landed in Addis Ababa at 11:30 am.
After we arrived we had a quick bite to eat and went to meet Celeste and took her back to the hotel (Hilton).
-Wednesday we had our embassy appointment at 3:00pm, but we were not seen until 5:00 pm
-Thursday we went to the coffee ceremony at the babie's home.
-Friday we went on a tour of beautiful lakes and were able to leave the city and enjoy the countryside. In the evening we received Celeste's visa and other paperwork.
-Saturday we went shopping in the morning and at 7:00 pm we took off on Emirates Air for Dubai.
-Sunday morning 12:45am we arrived in Dubai and took our next flight at 2:00am to JFK.
-Sunday morning at 8:00am we arrived in NYC and went to my brother's home.
-Sunday at 8:00pm Celeste and I boarded a JetBlue flight to CA.
-Sunday at 11:45pm arrived in LA

travel news...

Samantha and Celeste met on Tuesday... they have since had their embassy appointment and all is well. They are falling in love more and more every moment. (hope Samantha is OK with my semantics)
short and sweet...
and I know (as a blog reader) that all posts are better with a picture. So, since I do not have any pics from Samantha in Ethiopia, I will give you one taken last September. Samantha, Marina, and I on our annual trip to the LA county fair. We always have sooo much fun. We go into the petting zoo and have lovely adventures. Celeste will surely be in this year's picture.

On her way...

Greetings. I am Monica... one of Samantha's friends. I will be your blog operator until Samantha gets back from Ethiopia. Last night Fernando and Marina dropped her off at the airport for a red eye flight to New York (to meet with her brother). They'll leave tonight for Dubai, and then Ethiopia!! She is uber excited, as am I. I will post something as soon as I hear from her.

Here is the first or our bags

Pay not attention to the mess in our garage. It is an ongoing project that never ends. Any way, a dear colleague of mine donated 7 boxes of kids clothes, so this is where all those clothes are now. I guess I'll put the rest of the humanitarian aide elsewhere. This weekend I need to start taking the malaria medication. I am still debating weather or not this is truly necessary, but my brother keeps insisting that we should.

Something in Common

We finally received the report on Fenit’s biological family. I am happy to report that our little “beauty queen” (soon to be re-labeled “smart, talented imaginative, creative youngest princess”) has two mothers that like to play in the kitchen. That makes me very happy.
On another front, I’ve been packing up a storm. We purchased an army duffel bag at our local Army Navy store. The bag was only about $25 and is the biggest thing I’ve ever seen. I know I’ll not be able to lift it, but who needs to lift when you can drag. I take a picture of it once it is all filled up.
I will be meeting my brother in NY and we will travel together to Ethiopia. For all of those soon to be parents out there, please know that I will be happy to take pictures or any little keepsake you want to send to your little loves, just e-mail me and we will make arrangements.
The work of art posted is one of Marina’s homage to her fish, Chiquitina. She was a female Beta that who died while Marina was in Barcelona with her father. Here she is waiting for Marina to feed her. The other picture is the real place where Chiquitina used to reside.
Oh! I almost forgot, we had been told that Fenit’s birthday was the 4th of July, 2007. It turns out that it is actually the 31st of May 2007. Regardless of her birthday, she will not begin school until she has turned 6 years old so that means she will be more developmentally ready for the rigors of social and academic life.

I figured it out! ...sort of

Free MySpace slideshows, photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I also want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has supported us through this, very difficult, journey; and to invite those of you who are still waiting, to email us with your babe's information if you would like for us to take pictures or send them a little something on your behalf. Fernando and I sent mem cards to other traveling parents while we waited, and it seems that those precious images helped us get through the rough spots.

We are complete

Here she is... our little love. If you have been in this adoption rollercoaster, you know how we feel. We are so elated. At 6:30 am we received a call from Jessica B at Gladney telling us the good news. It is nice to know that Gladney will let you know as soon as they know. It made the news so much better because it was what woke me. We've booked our flights and our hotel. It seems that it is all going according to plan. I hope I'm not jinxing myself. I will post more pictures later, when I figure out how to do a slide show. In the mean time; enjoy this one. We are bursting at the seams. I was just telling one of our friends how this whole experience makes you feel so bipolar; with its high peaks and its low valleys. Well, boy are we on a tall peak today!

Negative

Well, unbelievably the judge said that our file was incomplete. Have you ever seen a great white shark while it bites into its pray? Have you noticed how their eyes roll back with their fury? Just think of me like the shark. I am beside myself. This had happened before and when Gladney went to MOWA it seemed that it all was straightened out. Well, it was not, and part of me just wants to go there myself and check that our file is perfect. Any way, we are rescheduled for April 10th.

Semantics

I'm about to breech a topic that I have been avoiding for quite some time now. I don't know how people are going to take this, but I need to, once and for all, get this off my chest. Over the past year I have read my fair share of blog entries, and I must say that I find the phrase "love on..." extremely jarring. I am open to every one's beliefs, reasoning for adoption, plans a, b, c, political views and so on, but I cannot understand the need to use the phrase "love on..." What is so difficult about saying something to the effect of "please give my babe all the love I send to them," or "I cant wait to cuddle with our baby," why "love on...?" I did not learn formal English until my family moved to Southern California, so it could just be me, and I thought that for some time now, but I have a few friends whom I've sucked into this blog reading business, and they find it just as awkward. Obviously there aren't very many of you out there that agree with me, because otherwise, you would not be perpetuating this semantic oddity.
PS You must know how much refrain I have shown!
PPS When you've been postponed for as long as we have and for the inane reasons we have experienced you too will focus on the silliest things.

Tune in tomorrow.

Well, the judge decided to take the day off today. The cases scheduled to be heard today will be heard tomorrow. We're sad..

Thank you all!

Almost very year Fernando, Marina and I, have the opportunity to stroll up and down this beautiful avenue in Barcelona. It is called Paseo de Gracia. The trees are still there, and although, sadly, the fashion has changed there are still tons of people that walk up and down along with us. The architecture is amazing and the conversations you overhear are in every language imaginable. I didn't intend to write about this as you can tell by the title of this post, but as I was searching for a photo to post on this entry, I started making connections with the words thank you, gracias, gracia, etc.
Any way, I just want to thank every one who is sending us all of your wonderful thoughts and positive vibes. We really do appreciate it. We are on pins and needles, and can't wait to stroll up and down el Paseo de Gracia with our two beautiful babe, Celeste Fenit.
This wait is just so difficult!

Is this permited?

It's been a long time

So I received a call from Mary T. today. As I understand it, MOWA is supposed to send an opinion to the courts before cases are heard by the judges. MOWA's opinion was that our file was "incomplete." After much work by our Gladney in-country staff it seems that there was some sort of misfiling of records and so once that was cleared a new court date was petitioned for the next couple of days. The courts declined the petition to expedite our case, so our new court date is set for the 26th of this month. On another and more positive note, our little one's mother was able to relinquish our babe today. The courts accepted her decision, which means that things should go smoother for her case to be accepted and approved.

I am very frustrated, but I feel very confident that we have the most competent people working and doing everything in their power to bring our girl home.

New Court Date

Our new court date is set for March 19th, 2008. If it all goes well, we could be traveling by April 5th, 2008. Interestingly enough (and I hope I'm not jinxing myself) that is the week of my spring break! If the stars align properly I will not be using any of my sick leave during travel, which will leave me with more than enough days with Fenit to finish the school year and get me through until summer. Please keep us in mind and send us your good thoughts on March 19th.

Gladney is amazing!

I have never said anything about Fenit's life or how she came to live in the Gladney home because this is a deeply personal story, but after Mary's call today, Fenit's story has changed. Originally the authorities did not know how to locate her mother. This week, Gladney found her! I am truly happy and thankful for this. If Fenit's mother will agree to meet with us I only want to ask one thing: "what would you like me to tell Fenit about you, your life and her?" Mary said that she will call us again on Tuesday to let us know for when our next court date is scheduled. So again; we wait.

Really?!

At 9:15 this morning I received a call from "unknown" aka Mary T. She was very kind to call me early and not let me suffer all day. She basically said that the court heard our case, but they needed more information about the whereabouts of our babe's mother. So Gladney hit the pavement and is doing everything in their power to supply the information necessary to get things moving again. Mary said that she will be calling us again on Friday, February 22 to let us know if and for when our next court date is scheduled. For now, we continue to wait.

Tagged again!

So, I'm one of those people who typically rebels against anything chain; as in chain letters, chain e-mails, chain forwards or anything that requires more energy in the little spare time that I have. However, it seems that Carey is hell-bent on having me share a little more about myself.

So here are my lists for the crazy 8's:

8 things I’m passionate about:

1. family
2. Google

3. environment

4. traveling

5. cooking

6. laughing

7. education

8. reading

8 things I want to do before I die:

1. bring Celeste Fenit home

2. enjoy exercising

3. win a spelling bee (ha, ha, ha)

4. retire in the coast of Spain
5. change legislation (any legislation)

6. get rid of our television

7. become a voice over artist

8. have my parents move in with us

8 songs I never tire of listening to

1. I will survive (Gloria Gaynor)
2. Hey Jude (The Beatles)

3. Amante Bandido (Miguel Bosé)

4. Limón y Sal (Julieta Venegas)
5. Manu Chao

6. Antonio Flores
7. My father signing flamenco
8. Edith Piaf

8 things that attract me to my friends

1. Good looks (hee, hee, hee)

2. Intelligence
3. Honesty

4. Funny

5. Willing to be total dorks

6. Obsessive Compulsive (about anything)
7. Self awareness

8. Independent

8 things I learned in 2007:
1. Patience, patience, patience

2. The world will may not come to a screeching halt – and I may not I lose friends – if my house is messy, but although all who see our mess will say its ok, they will talk about it among themselves.

3. "it's only one disposable diaper." is the biggest lie. The first disposable diaper is still in existence today.

4. Adoption is an environmentally friendlier option of increasing family.

5. It isn't what happens to you, it is how you choose to react to those challenges.

6. While traveling on leisure, leave electronic devices behind.

7. Work can and will go on without you; really, it can and will!
8. The truth cannot be held against you

8 things I say often:

1. You know, in California, kindergarten is not a required grade

2. Ugly words I cannot write here

3. Dorkasaurious rex

4. te adoro

5. fantastic
7. que?
8. when do you want to schedule that?

8 TV shows I recently watched:

1. Boston Legal

2. Grey's Anatomy

3. Mystery Diagnosis

4. New Adventures of Old Christine

5. Late show with David Letterman

6. Anything animal planet
7. Anything Discovery

8. Anything documentary

And for an added bonus round…

8 new parenting tips I’ve discovered for myself
1. water evaporates, so don't get upset if it spills
2. our children are the MOST important thing
3. our only job as parents is to keep our children safe (this applies to anything)
4. 2 choices are more than enough
5. our children don't get a choice about EVERYTHING
6. bring our children to sleep with us, because when they get older they won't want to
7. get caught boasting about them
8. tell them you may not like their actions but you love them no mater what

Court date; Check!

A pot-luck was scheduled today in my office. I remembered to bring my enchiladas, tablecloth, sponge to wash the dishes and a serving spoon. I forgot my laptop and I almost forgot my mobile phone. As I went back to get my cell phone I thought to my self; "really it doesn't matter if I forget the phone because no one will call me today." I stuck it in my pocket and forgot about it. While I was in my office using the "common" computer, little celestial chimes sounded off in my red coat pocket. I pulled out the phone without much thought, opened it and saw the code word "unknown" on the minuscule screen. I thought "we're one step closer." Then I answered "this is Samantha" just in case it was work related...and it wasn't. Instead I heard Mary T's lovely voice. She said our court date has been set for February 19th. I wanted to get excited but then I came down to earth thinking about the possible delays and what-nots. This process is so high-and-low, up-and-down. I am so happy that we are so close to becoming parents again, frustrated it's not happening sooner, afraid the court session will go awry, and fliustered about getting all our preparations done.

400+ e-mails

A while back I joined two Yahoo groups about Ethiopian adoptions. Well, since then I forgot all about them and basically got my fill of information through the blog community. After reading Jocelyn's blog about the use of pictures on our blogs I got a little paranoid (if you know me, please don't laugh; I know the use of "little" is quite the understatement since I am already paranoid to begin with). So I decided to check my yahoo groups. Wouldn't you know it I had about 400+ e-mails about all sorts of adoptions things dating back to early summer 2007. I cannot just delete e-mail without at least taking a quick look at the content. I'm finally done, and after all that reading I've decided that we cannot take a chance with posting pictures of our babes before they are actually legally ours. It is with a very heavy heart that I tell you that you will have to wait until after we have a successful court date before we show you our little Ethiopian beauty. In the mean time I will be posting pictures of our beautiful little girl who is home with us.

We're missing the milestones!

We received an update from Mary T.; "Fenit – Beautiful! Calm and comfortable with so much beauty is powerful. There is so Much of Fenit to appreciate, and apparently muscle lies beneath the plush exterior! From her stomach, Fenit can easily do as many “baby push-ups” as she wants. She rocks back on her knees frequently. She is quite active! In her picture she is saying – “Hi, Mom and Dad. " Current Weight – 18.52 pounds"

I am so grateful for these updates; and yet so mournful that we are missing all the fun little milestones, like almost crawling. We can't wait to have her home!

Lovely souls that come through just in time.

Thank you to the Runnions for sending us pictures of our babe. One can never have enough of these!

Waiting again.

I get quite discouraged and unmotivated to write when all there is to say is that we are still waiting. We have been waiting for a court date for 3 weeks now, and it doesn't seem like it is going to happen any time soon. I hope Mary calls me right after I post this; to prove me wrong.

Any way, on Wednesday, Marina had tryouts at 3:30 P.M. for the swim pre-team and ...SHE MADE IT! She was very good in the tryouts, and Fernando said that the coach seemed pleased. So starting in February, she will be training with the team.

That same day I had my appointment to get all my shots. I was inoculated twice in each arm. Wow, my arms were a little sore for a couple of days. My brother, in NY, received his shots the week before and apparently he didn't feel very well afterwords.

Now all we are doing is waiting. I feel sort of lonely just waiting. We don't have a court date and we haven't received new pictures of our babe.

The festive season

Jamie sent me this beautiful picture of our Celeste Fenit. I need her home so badly. I know that this process has it's reasons, but when you are waiting to hold your little love, it is very difficult to have patience. I friend of mine sent me this article to help me put waiting into perspective.

Our family from NY came to visit this Christmas. Marina had so much fun with her cousins that when they left she was devastated. That night, in bed, she buried her face in her pillow and said "I'm in the depths of despair." Can you tell we've been reading the Anne of Green Gables series? It's funny, because sometimes I feel like she's not listening while I'm reading and then she comes out with something totally appropriate, from the books, to state her feelings.

It occurred to me that I have not posted any details about Celeste. Here are a few facts that might be interesting to my one reader: Celeste's birthday was stated as July 4th, 2007 (she'll get fireworks every year on her birthday). She weighs almost 18lb.! She is 25" long. And she has a big sister that can't wait to get cozy lozy with her.

Lastly, my congratulations to all those families out there that are getting their children, got a court date and/or had a successful day at court. We hope to be within your ranks soon!

Taken the same day

This is one of the pictures that Mary sent me the day she called me about our little babe. This is the first time we have posted it. Now if you have already received The Call you know how confusing it all gets and how frantic the following days become. Any way, we have not scrutinized all the pictures, so we are still becoming familiar with our babe and her surroundings. The next day, after we posted her picture, Carey said that Marina's comment about Celeste's eyebrows caught her attention. So she looked through her thousands of Ethiopia pictures and found the following 2 pictures:

Can you believe it? When Carey sent me the pictures, she wrote "is this her?" I merely responded that I thought so, and that if she thought so too then it must be Celeste. Well, today I was arranging the pictures in my computer and lo and behold I discovered that Carey's pictures were taken the same day, and probably at the same time, than the picture we received from Mary. That means it definitely IS Celeste and that Carey can tell me a little about what the woman in the picture is like.

I keep trying to send Celeste Fenit the telepathic message "don't worry, Love, we're on our way."

I don't comprehend anything you're saying

I figured some of you might be interested on "the call." I will work up to the moment I received The Call from Mary T. For about 2 weeks; every time I went into a meeting I would announce: "I'm sorry, but if my mobile phone rings I'm going to have to step out to get the call." I was so certain that The Call would happen right in the middle of a meeting...silly me. Any way, all day yesterday, whenever the phone would ring I would yell in my office "this could be The Call." And it wasn't, it was any number of people that I usually like talking to, but yesterday I was only disappointed when I would see their name pop-up in the minuscule screen. Then, while I was quite immersed in writing the phone rang again and I said in a very mocking voice: "this could be it..." and IT WAS! the screen said UNKNOWN (that's code for Gladney). I fumbled with the buttons which, suddenly were much smaller than ever and answered "this is Samantha" (just in case it wasn't Mary). An Mary said: "hi Samantha, this is Mary." Then, there was some odd silent awkwardness and I said "Mary, is this The Call?" And she said "yes, and she's beautiful..wah, wah, wah, wah, wah." In the mean time, my colleague (Karen B) got a phone call at the same time, so she was loosing her mind trying to get off the phone so she could come see the pictures. And then her OTHER line starts ringing. So, I have Mary on the phone, my baby's pictures on my screen, friends behind me looking at the pictures and commenting to each other, dear Karen trying to get off the phone and her other line blurping every 2-3 seconds. Time slowed down, every other sound, except Mary's voice was very clear, and Mary just sounded like an adult in the Peanut's Gallery. I had to tell her I wasn't understanding anything she was saying. Lovely as she is, Mary was patient and repeated herself several times without loosing her sweet and excited demeanor. Then I called Fernando and told him all about it. He waited until I arrived home so we could share it with Marina (whom, by the way, said she loved Celeste's eyebrows).

My water broke!!!

...after 16 weeks and 6 days, here is Celeste Fenit.

I can only hope

Remember the feeling you got when Samantha finally got her wish, and celebrated her 16th birthday with dreamy Jake. Well, I want to be able to celebrate the 16 week anniversary of our wait! I am crawling out of my skin. I am usually so in control. And really, that IS the problem. I feel like my life is on hold. Completely at the mercy of others whom are sooooo far away. I'm not saying that they do not care, because indeed they do care and quite deeply, in fact. It is just that I want to move on, I want to go forward, I want to proceed, I need to know and feel that things are happening. The thing is that while you are preparing your paperwork, somehow it seems that you have control over the situation. I am aware that "things" are happening, but what those things are, I have not clue. I am desperate, and nothing I do keeps my mind off of Celeste. I need to, at the very least, see her little face. I need to know she is out there, because right now she doesn't seem quite real. For those of you that have a biological child, this feels, kind of like when you are first pregnant but, have not heard the heart beat, or seen an ultrasound, or felt a flutter, or see your belly get larger, or your breasts tender...like nothing is different!
I also feel quite pathetic. I actually called Mary T. today to tell her I needed reassurance and some sort of information. I dropped the charade of calling her with any lame excuse, I cannot pretend anymore. I have lost all patience and need to be brought back to center!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another question for Mary

So as you can see I've taken to update you all once a week. I do this on Wednesdays because we began waiting on a Wednesday, and it just seems appropriate to write on the weekly anniversary of our wait.

Lately, I've been trying very hard not to read blogs that pertain to Ethiopian adoptions because it only makes the wait more difficult for me. So I don't really know what's going on our there with the rest of the waiting community. I figure they are having as much difficulty as I am. Are you guys finding any excuse to call Mary? Or, are you all so patient that you don't even bother? Do you go into work meetings and forewarn everyone that, if your mobile phone should ring to please excuse you in advance because, you're going to HAVE to take the call? Do people ask you if you have heard anything every time they see you?

Anyway, today I called Mary to ask her what Celeste's immigration status would be. At one point I had asked her if her paperwork could be worked out from the very beginning to say her full name as we have chosen it. She asked the appropriate people in Ethiopia and, no. Her passport will say the first name we have chosen and Fernando's first and last names. We can change it later when we re-adopt. So my question stemmed from the confusion of the passport. I wasn't sure if she was getting a United States passport right off the bat. Well, it turn out she will have an Ethiopian passport and will come in with a green card. When we readopt, she will then have a California birth certificate and a Unites States passport. All that just to find out there's no other news she could give me!!!!

Pestering

I have completely lost touch with child care. Since Marina was about 2 years old, she has attended "school." Obviously it was preschool first, and now first grade, but really there was no issues with child care, because any educational establishment that wishes to remain competitive will offer very reasonable hours that blend well with a working family. I also think that we are much more demanding now. These days I'm griping about maternity leave (or lack there of), cost of nannies, not having room for an au pair, etc. I'm very stressed! I make a weekly call to our local community college (I'm now enrolled in a gym class) that boasts of a terrific child care center-students get priority of enrollment. Every Wednesday, when I call, the same woman answers. She has a beautiful accent; I think she might be from Lebanon. Anyway, she know my voice as much as I know hers and she tries so diligently to be patient with me, but I can tell it is quite a strain for her. She says: "I know, you're calling to check on the status of your application. As I told you before, only two or three babies get in per term, it is very difficult to get in. Wait for our call, we should be calling in about 2 weeks." It is worth noting that it is always in 2 weeks. I keep calling, I can't wait for their call. I'm waiting on a much more important call to bother with not calling them.

Fernando and I have been watching the video training sessions offered through Gladney. Some are good, others not so much. I finally got to see what Mary T. looks like (she's on the first Ethiopia session). She is not what I pictured...in a good way!

So I took the opportunity to call Mary about a few little questions and I'm sure she knows it was also a "hey, we're still here, remember us, the ones who have been waiting for 14 weeks as of today." She is so wonderfully patient. I know she gets these calls so often, we must be quite the topics of conversation in her home: "sweetie, guess who called again today? That's right Samantha, you know the one married to Fernando, the ones who already have a little girl. Her excuse to call me was so pathetic this time. Poor them, but they'll get their baby soon. They don't know it yet, but the little girl that they are matched up with is a real little gem." At any rate, she was great. She answered all my questions. I never understood why people had to wait so long from the time they had a favorable court date to the time they traveled. Mary said that it takes time to process the baby's passport and immigration paperwork. One can travel before, but then you would be in-country for about a month!
Well, I'm off to finish some work , life goes on, even in these desperate times. I almost forgot, we've been taking out Marina's baby clothes and can't wait to see Celeste wearing them.

What have we been up to since September

Marina began first grade. She attends a Waldorf School in Southern California. This particular school has a required parent involvement of at least 50 hours a year. Needless to say, the hours that each parent ends up putting is much greater than that. The school year begins with setting up the classroom to help the new teacher. The first big event is the Hoe Down. I know, I know, it sounds so dreadfully hokey, but it relay is fun. It helps build community with new parents and and find your way to old friends. There is a cake walk and a good old fashion dance. I like making cakes, but not getting them. The first grade along with another grade are in charge of the September "look-in." This is when parents of 4 year-olds come to observe and decide if they like what they see before thy commit to completing an application for entrance. (I make about 50 sambosas in honor of Celeste.) Then we have back to school night. Every grade has a class meeting and the curriculum is discussed (along with a myriad of mind numbing minutia that makes me want to pull the skin right off of my bones).

October seemed like it had promise of being an easy month of rest when suddenly BAM! Marina and I drove to Tucson to my cousin's wedding (Marina was one of three flower girls). I got 2 tickets on my way home; one for speeding-totally legitimate, and the other because Marina turn around to look at a police car and he said she was not properly strapped into her booster...she weighs more than some current media icons at her healthy 50lb! The seat belt just slipped off her shoulder when she turned!!! hasn't that happened to us all? don't some of us put the shoulder strap under our arm because it cuts into our neck?!?! Anyway, that is also the day I was supposed to go to Carrie's baby shower...I missed the festivities. The following weekend I had to go to Utah for work. I was in a town with a population of 178, alone and very far from cell phone reception. Then we had Halloween and all its magic and mystery (which takes a lot of grown up preparation and work.)

Now we are in November. Let's see, this month I have worked on making dolls and their clothes. Lots and lots of dolls! The Elve's Fair (the biggest fund raiser for Marina's school was on the 17th. I also made little trinkets, items for a special children's shopping room and baked a cake for the Fair's bake sale. I helped set up and clean up. After all that work and all that stress I came down ill on the 18th. I am sounding sicker today, but I am feeling better. Thankfully we don't work tomorrow and I can make the stuffing for Thursday. We're going to my mother's house for Thanksgiving.

As far as Celeste is concerned, all I can tell you is that we have been waiting. I spoke with Mary T. and she gave me the impression that we will not be traveling to get our babe until the new year. So we have to put in the extra training ours required by the Hague. We just went ahead and ordered all the on demand streaming, and started our training last night. We hope to have it all completed by the end of this weekend. That way, the only thing left to do will be to buy our tickets and fly to Addis Ababa.

One last note; I work for a public school district. Needless to say that the majority of people employed by this industry are women. According to our HR department I have no right to get maternity leave...NONE! I have to take my sick days which I have been accruing since I started working there. I will only be able to have those sick days to be with Celeste before I have to rejoin the work force. As it was explained to me (in so many words); maternity leave is driven by the health of the mother and her need to recuperate from child birth, not the need for the baby to bond.

On that note I leave you to be with Marina who has been waiting patiently to hear me read Anne of Avonlea before bed time.

Long absence

For those who check in here and have been frustrated with my absence, I will say this: there's nothing to report except still waiting. Waiting is hard, and I figured that if I was going to wait so was everyone else. This evening however, I will be posting all of the things that have occupied my time since last I posted.

Getting closer

Just like the rest of the of the adoption blogging reading/writing population, I spend my share of time looking for clues that give away the approximate date on which we will receive our referral. My motives fluctuate from practical, to irrational, to obsessive control freak, but what remains the same is the incisive need to know. When I was pregnant with Marina I was told that the due date was merely a guesstimate, and that she should be born earlier or later, and that it was more likely going to be later. It was 7 days later, but I didn't mind so much because for one, I knew that she was safe inside my womb, and secondly, I wasn't quite ready to give up my sleep, freedom, and lack of responsibility yet. In fact, a couple of days after my due date, I was in a very small fender-bender and the doctor on duty asked me if it was "okay to just induce labor since you are overdue anyway." I just about had a panic attack and told her I wasn't anywhere ready to have a baby. Five days later I was ready and she was born.

Today I am ready, and I don't really think you give up anything but juvenile selfishness when you have a baby. I know Celeste will present new challenging opportunities for our family, but I also know those go hand in hand with the many more joyful and fantastic journeys. What I don't know is when those adventures will begin. I am filled with anticipation, and hence I do all in my power to figure out when Celeste will be home.

According to my calculations, it is taking about 12-13 weeks to receive an infant girl referral. Now, I've asked Mary and she stated that all awaiting families are put in order of when their paperwork was completed. However that doesn't really mean that families receive their referrals in the same order. Oftentimes, children will be assigned to a family but all the medical assessments and eligibility has to be checked before that family receives word. Sometimes a family will receive a referral before another that was before them, because their baby's paperwork comes through quicker, not because they were paired up sooner. 140 Gladney families are currently in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. That doesn't mean that they are all in the waiting stage, only that they are somewhere in the process.

Some time ago when the Bottomlys received their referral, I said that I felt like they were leaving the gym and we were barely getting to it. Well, we are finally in the showers about to leave our emotional gym and join the Bottomlys and all the others in the everyday life with new family members.

Waiting

All we do is wait, and it seems that everyone else is also waiting. This entire process is about waiting. There are so many moments of just waiting. Fernando and I have been lucky, I guess, because we didn't have to wait to have children. Marina came into our lives just as we planned, so our wait is very different. But now Marina has been waiting to be a big sister for quite some time. In adoption, from the very beginning one has to wait to get the applications, then for the paperwork to arrive from everywhere. Then we wait to notarize it. We wait for appointments and finally there is THE WAIT! It is all consuming , I didn't think I was going to be quite so absorbed by it, but it seems that I spend every minute of down time thinking about Celeste. Hence I busy myself with myriad of other projects. At work, I am more consumed than ever to get things done quickly, partially because I can't stand the down time and partially because I feel responsible for getting all my reports done before I take time off with Celeste. When I think of her, I imagine us waking up early and walking Marina to school. Coming home and playing and cuddling and having a good-0ld-time. I don't imagine us waiting for absolutely anything. And eventually I'll get around to teach her to "wait her turn..." but that's still a long wait away.

Keeping all the balls or axes in the air

Just when I think I am going to be good and keep everything I have committed to up to date and running, I realize that I've dropped the ball again. In this case it is this lovely little vehicle for expression and communication.

On Saturday I went to 2 adoption classes offered by Heartsent. Fernando couldn't make it because he is teaching a class 70 miles away from home. So off I went on my own. Heartsent does not have an Ethiopia program, but since they did our home study, they also provide the 10 hours of classes required before we can go get Celeste.
Oh! I forgot to mention that we have settled on naming our baby Celeste. I came up with so very many different names and Fernando would only say "if that's what you like." I almost gave up! But then I said "what about Celeste" and he lit up, so there was no more discussions about it. Marina was set on Lola, but I think she's come around now. Plus I think it makes a good pair with Marina; one is from the sea and the other from the heavens. (I don't think Karen reads this, but if you are reading, I'm sorry for the long tangent!)
Back to the classes; in the first class we discussed the topic of bringing a sibling home. Although I thought that the class was good overall, I am often surprised that the human race has overcome so much, and that people of older generations are so well adjusted. To hear what worries people, and how we are encouraged to over analyze every move we make that might have the slightest impact on our kids, it's a wonder that more children don't grow up to be traumatized for life because they have siblings. The way people talk, you would think that only children who didn't have siblings were well adjusted. When I was growing up I wasn't asked my opinion on matters that were of consequence to the entire family. My parents decided everything; what we wore, what we ate, where we went, where we lived , EVERYTHING. I, by no means suggest that I am the most well balanced person, but I am certainly well adjusted and I am quite adept at handling change. Children are resilient and the fact that we decide to have more than one child should be considered more of a gift than something to ask forgiveness over. My siblings and I were not the best of friends growing up; my sister needed me to stay as far away from her and her friends as possible, and my brother and I fought like cats and dogs. Today, I don't know what I would do without them. They are a part of me; their triumphs and defeats affect me deeply. I have been shaped by them. I have learned patience, sharing, kindness, tenderness, love, forgiveness and endurance through my relationship with my siblings. We have been each other's bitter rivals and most vocal supporters. I thank my parents every day for the wonderful gift of siblings.
Wow, that was a mouth full, more on the second class tomorrow. I'm off to bed.

Getting Personal

So some of my friends have categorized me as a blogging bore. They say that my paranoid obsession with not revealing anything about my self is freakish. Although they like the pictures I post, they want more personal pictures, so here it is; my first attempt at personal blogging.

While Marina and I were in Barcelona and Fernando was teaching, my father continued the paper odyssey. He nearly finished it and when we arrived, all I had to do was send the rest of our dossier to Gladney.

The following are some of our Barcelona adventures.

This was our first official meal, and it was absolutely amazing. Luli prepared it, and every one enjoyed it. I know what you are going to say, these are not personal pictures, but they are. And plus I don't know if the people in my pictures want themselves in the pictures.

Here is a picture of the products in La Boqueria in Barcelona. Just look at those mushrooms; a gnome could live in each one!

It's been a long time

Well, it has taken me a long time, but I think we are almost back in the swing of things.

We were in Barcelona for about 5 weeks; enjoying the Mediterranean Sea, the food, family and friends, and our time of idle nothingness.

Upon our return, we finished the last bit of our dossier and sent it to Mary. She has since received it and sent it on to get the last stage of authentication. We are officially a waiting family!!! I am going to try not to think about this, because otherwise I will go crazy. I will say that I will be using my time wisely in the following to do list:

1)rearrange the garage

2)rearrange the kid's room

3)clean out Marina's closet and look through her baby clothes

4)look for a stroller

I'm sure I will be adding to this list, but for now I will concentrate on these 4 items.

We're back!

After a long month and a half, we're back home. As always, Barcelona was wonderful. Marina had a great time with her yayos (grandparents) and her aunt and uncle. We swam in the Mediterranean and strolled the little streets full of shoppes. We were able to go to Colliure in France and to other beautiful little places. We had a great time. While we were out of town, my father continued the adoption marathon. It is with great delight that I let everyone know that our last bit of paperwork will be going out this week. All I have left to do is scan and fed ex them to Mary. We will finally become a "waiting family." Oh! We decided on a name.

Out of town

Marina and I are taking some well deserved vacation time. I am sorry if we don´t update the blog, but really, there is not much to say except that my fabulous father is taking care of some authentication issues for us and, if the paperwork returns soon, he´ll forward it all to Mary. Other than that, we are just waiting, and waiting and waiting some more. We miss Fernando, and that consumes us more than the waiting. By the way, the computer I am using for these updates does not cooperate with me in the least!!!

Re-do

We were excited to see that our FedEx from the NY Secretary of State. When it arrived we were quite sad to see that we had done the authenticating wrong. We should have send our letter of recommendation to King´s County Cleark´s office and have them forward it to the Secretary of State office in NY. So now we are left with having to re-do the NY paperwork. Any way, no harm done, one learns something new everyday.

Drum roll please! Yes, we are done with the paper chase. I talked to Heartsent last week because I was getting nervous about our CIS letter, so they gave me a number to call to check on our letter. The CIS lady called me back yesterday and let me know I could go pick our letter up today.
Well, today I went to CIS (in downtown L.A.), picked up our approval letter, then met Fernando and Marina at the AAA office , then Fernando and Marina went to the book store while I went to Norwalk (L.A. county clerk's office; which inexplicably is not located in downtown L.A.) to authenticate, then back to downtown to the Secretary of State's office to further authenticate, and then finally home. I am so tired, but so extremely relieved! Now we just have to wait for our documents; which we sent out to get authenticated in NY and in Sacramento, so that we can FedEx them to Gladney. They will then add their portion to the pile and send the entire dossier on to DC for final authentication, and that is when we are finally considered a "waiting family."

Every little grain of sand gets us closer to Ethiopia

At 10am today there was a loud knock at our door. It was the FedEx man. He handed me a large thin envelope and had me sign. I quickly ripped it open and looked inside...can you guess what it was? Is the anticipation killing you yet? MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE ARRIVED safe and sound; all thanks to my wonderful cousin Pedri.
Well, I lost no time and marched myself straight to the notary and then to FedEx to send it along with other documents to be authenticated. On my way home I received a call from Maggie at Heartsent letting me know that she spoke with the CIS office and our letter should be arriving by early next week! That letter is the last of our documents that make up our dossier.

AAA

We accomplished quite some today. All three of us went to AAA and, because we have been there so much, and we go to the same lovely person so much, he now knows us very well, and gets us in and out of there is a jiff. We notarized Fernando's passport copy, our financial statement, our limited power of attorney, and Fernando's birth certificate. We also FedExed one of our letters of recommendation to get authenticated in NY. Things are getting finalized quite quickly now!

Just got back!

Well, Marina and I just returned from our tour of the bureaucratic offices of the Los Angeles area. We first went to the Norwalk County Clerk's office. They authenticated 14 papers, charged us a pretty penny, and gave us directions to the down town Los Angeles office of the Secretary of State. We parked (for 16 dollars) in front of 300 N Spring instead of in front of 300 S Spring so we had to walk a long way. Marina was amazing with the walking! When we got there and told them we had 15 documents to authenticate, they were about to turn me away. I must have looked like a lunatic because they immediately said "well OK, but next time, if you bring so much, come earlier." What a relief, I thought I was going to lose it. Well they charged me a prettier penny than the County Clerk's office, but at least a great portion of the documents are basically ready to be sent to the Federal Authentication process...where they will charge us the prettiest penny ever!

Days off

Today is my first official day of vacation. At the end of last week I spoke with a woman in the civil registry in Mexico City and she said that she would take care of my birth certificate issue. She suggested I ask one of my cousins to pick up the documents so they can overnight them to me. So I called Pedri and he agreed to the task. Hurray for Pedri! On another note we have yet to receive our 1-171H from CIS. Although we do not have all our documents ready I will be going to the county clerk's office today to get the first step of authentication done. If I have time I'll also go to the Secretary of State's office.

Blue

Yesterday I spent a very long time scanning about 40 dossier documents. It took so long, and the scanner was so slow. Now I only have a few left to scan, and I will do that as they come in. My summer break begins on Monday, so I will be able to dedicate much more time to the paper gathering. I will call Mexico to see if my birth certificate has been processed...we can only hope, and get the bulk of our documents to the county clerk's office and to the secretary of state. We also have to figure out the NY and TX authentication process. I have come to terms with the fact that our dossier will not make it to Ethiopia before July first, now I'm only hoping that I can send it off to Mary before we leave on vacation. (by the way, I just spelled checked and was surprised to find that "no misspellings found.")

Fassica

I've been meaning to write, but it seems we are at a bit of a stand still. We are waiting for things to come to us, and we can't move forward until they arrive. The only thing we can continue to do is notarize documents that are already in our possession and scan them as we move along. It is excruciating. Because of this slow down, it seems that every time I see someone I haven't seen in some time, and they ask me about how it's coming along...I wish they would say "I see you've come along way, your blog is keeping us up to speed." It is so taxing to wait, and we're not even in the official waiting stage; questions make it more difficult. The whole point of our blog is to keep everyone abreast of the process, believe me, if there was more to tell I'd tell it. On another note, this past Saturday I met two wonderful women who are also adopting little girls from Ethiopia. I don't know if they would want me to share their names, so I won't. Marina and I headed to Fassica in Culver City. This place is fantastic. Anyway, just as we were getting to know each other, we heard a terrible car crash right outside of the restaurant. My two new mothers-to-be friends ran out and the owner of the restaurant followed right behind them. Marina and I stayed in the restaurant (no need for Marina to be exposed to gore). Soon after one of the moms-to-be ran back asking for a soda, and informed me that one of the people involved was the husband of the owner of Fassica! A little later everyone came back to the restaurant and the owner asked us to PLEASE stay. She would call her niece to care for us, and she would meet her husband (who is diabetic and was taken to the hospital in the ambulance) at the hospital. It took some convincing us, but we stayed. It took time, but we settled and continued to bond over our adoptions. We talked a great deal about all the blogs and laughed about some of what we all share over the internet with perfect strangers. In the end I left feeling like I had just met two beautiful women who I hope will be a part of our lives for years to come. I am also grateful for this crazy mode of communication. This online journaling has opened great doors to new and meaningful individuals whom I would have never known had I'd been using a paper and pencil...thank you to all of you whom have reached out...and to those of you whom read silently.

...or like her

I took the day off from work today so that I could do some important running around. After I picked up the final draft of our home study I went home to make some lunch for Marina and me. In the mail box I found an envelope from CIS...I got excited, but managed to make lunch before opening it. I was quite disappointed to discover that it was only a letter stating that they needed another proof of my citizenship because my passport (of which they had a copy) expired while they were processing our petition. I now have a new passport, so I'm sending them a new copy via overnight FedEx, because I think that is the last thing they are waiting for before we get approved. There is very little more for us to get done, so we hope we can actually send our dossier off to Mary before our self imposed July 1st deadline. Now I'm off to make copies and look into scanning paperwork.

She could look like her

So much has happened, but I haven't written in because it's going fast. Our FBI paperwork came back yesterday. We had enclosed a return FedEx envelope and tracked it while it returned back to our home. As soon as I got home I asked Fernando if he got the FedEx. He handed me the envelope and I ripped it open quickly. And there they were 2 sealed envelopes. I wanted to open them so badly, but Fernando ...voice of reason... said I should ask Gladney before I did anything "just in case." Also yesterday I talked to Kerry at Heartsent and she said I could pick up our home study whenever we wanted. So today I went to pick it up. They have already sent one to CIS and another to Gladney. When I got home, I read it through and through. there was one minor mistake, but as I have said before, Maggie is fantastic.
We are getting so close I can't believe that we may be in the official waiting stage soon.

Fairy gift

After a few e-mails to and from Carey (she's also adopting from Ethiopia) I decided to call Heartsent to ask if, when the home study write up was done, I could walk it into the CIS office. Kerry called me back immediately (as usual) and said that they had already sent it off to CIS and that it had also been e-mailed to Gladney for approval. Wow! that was so unexpected gift. Now, if Tonia approves the home study, we'll get the rest of the Heartsent paperwork for the dossier done. I hope that the rest of the agencies we are dealing with hurry up so that we can get all our paperwork authenticated. Two of our letters of recommendation have been notarized outside our county (one in NY and the other in SF), so we will FedEx them tomorrow to the county clerk and then to the secretary of state in NY and CA. I keep looking at our to-do-list and just trying to cross items, that are in our control, off. 19 days to go before my self imposed deadline.

News from Gladney

Today I received a few bits of news from the staff at Gladney. One dealt with a meet and greet hosted at The Gladney Center (in TX). Needless to say we must regretfully decline the invitation being that we are in California. Then there was the adoptive criteria changes that are being suggested are:
1)Adoptive parent(s) must be between 25-55 years of age.
2)Adoptive parents must be married for at least TWO years.
3)Married or single heterosexual individuals must have 5 biological or adopted children or less in the home.
4)There must be a 2 year age difference between the adopted child and a biological child.
5)Both parents are expected to travel to Ethiopia to pick up their child/ren, unless extenuating circumstances are presented and approved.

The last point worries us because we had planned on Fernando staying with Marina and making sure she maintained a sense of normalcy. We'll see what the Ethiopian government considers "extenuating circumstances," and go from there.

The last bit of news came in the form of a phone call. Elizabeth called to inform me that our Gladney application was COMPLETE! The only thing they are waiting for is Maggie's home study write up. Happy doesn't begin to express how feel. Any way, now we're only concentrating on the completion of our dossier. Dossier...that word makes me nervous, and laugh at the same time. Nervous because I want it to be done already. But it makes me laugh because the girls in the office are sick of the word...this little word that was unknown to us until 3 months ago.

E-mail can yield disastous results

Today I went to Kaiser and everything went great. I had arranged it with the notary to meet me 5 minutes early (just to make sure we were on time) because I didn't want to upset our MD. She was SO fantastic, and patient, and efficient and took her time...quite the turn around from my last entry. I think that e-mail is incredibly difficult to read. One person's "emphases" CAPS is an other's SHOUTING, which makes me believe that it really depends on how a person reads this blog whether they get us or not...for all I know we come off incredibly foolish. One of my friends seemed quite appalled when I told her I was writing an on line journal. She said, "I don't know, what makes you think any one wants to read your journal" (she said it in a tone of self reproach). Because I know her, her voice inflections, the look in her eyes, I know this was more about her and the way she always seems to minimize her fabulousness, and less about her thinking I was the most self-important person she could imagine. Fortunately our exchange happened in person!
On another note, I turned the last bit of paperwork to Heartsent; the notarized physicals for both of us, and a color photocopy of Fernando's passport, not to mention the post placement fee. This means that Maggie has all the information she needs to finish her write up and send it to CIS. Now I only need to wait for my birth certificate and get other little things notarized and authenticated for our dossier. I really hope all is done by my July 1st deadline.

Our Doctor

You know how in the past I said I love Kaiser? The Statement still holds true, with some minor exceptions. When Fernando and I first joined Kaiser, our doctor was fantastic. He has now moved on to the Sunset office, where he has gone up in rank and responsibility. We love him, and hope that he is enjoying his new position. Our new doctor has very big shoes to fill. She is quick, impatient, somewhat impersonal and very curt. During my physical, she was very vocal about how I should have come earlier so that she could have looked over all the paperwork from the different agencies (never mind that I told the appointment center and the intake nurse why I needed the physical and they didn't seem to think I needed to be told to come earlier). Anyway, then she redeemed herself by ordering Fernando's labs (to save time) and telling me we could just arrange to meet at lunch with the notary so that I didn't have to make an appointment. This week, I e-mailed her (through the Kaiser on line message exchange) and left a message with the nurse, just to remind her about our adoption needs. this is how she answered our e-mail: "Hello, Please excuse the delay. I was out sick yesterday. You can come in on any day next week at 12:30 in the afternoon to get the paperwork signed. Please let me know which day you are coming in so I can tell the nurses to look for you. P.S- you don't have to call AND email, I just wasn't in the office to take care of your message. In the future, please make sure to give me time to respond to your messages.Take care." Wow, great bedside manners. I will be meeting her on Monday (with the notary).
Anyway, on another subject I sent our our FBI request, and should be hearing back from them in about a week. I called them just to make sure my request was correct. The woman who helped me asked me to call them three days after our FedEx was delivered to them.

Against a Deadline

I was reading Mary's message on the Gladney's newsletter and suddenly I became somewhat panicked about getting all our paperwork into the Ethiopian government by July 1st. This date is important if we want to get a referral and a court date before the rainy season in Addis Ababa. Apparently the court systems shut down for the months of August and September. If we do not make the deadline, we could still receive a child referral, but our babe would have to wait until October before her court date to finalize our adoption. So today was crazy. Fernando got his FBI fingerprints done in the morning and I went after work. I got our FBI packet together including the money orders and I FedExing it tomorrow. I hope it gets processed quickly! Tomorrow I hope to tie up our medical paperwork, and the copies of our passports. Then we'll only have my birth certificate, reference letters and home study write up to wait for...but those are all out of my control.

Travel Books

Yesterday we went to a travel store and bought a book on Ethiopia. I know it's wishful thinking, especially because we aren't even done collecting all our paperwork, but it is better to prepare than to be scrambling to the end. Anyway, Marina is so funny because she asks me to read from the travel book and gets excited about all the things my brother and I will be seeing in Ethiopia. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I asked by brother to come with me to pick up our baby. Marina will most likely be in school and needs stability and continuity while we take her through the journey of big sisterhood. Oh! we finally got Fernando's employment letter, and this time, the notary got it right. I also contacted the traveling notary and I will be making arrangements with our MD to get the papers from our physicals signed and sealed.

I spoke with Heartsent today, and they said that our home study would most likely be dome by mid June (optimistically). I guess we're OK with that considering we still have to finish gathering everything.

To My Bosom Friend

From the first time I posted on this blog, I made a commitment not to post anything about our personal life that did not pertain to our adoption journey. This is because I believe that the primary role of this, on-line journal, is to help others who are either beginning this road or are in the midst of this vast ocean. However, yesterday I was talking with one of my very dearest friends and realised how absorbed I've been with this quest for our little baby. My lovely friend is so giving, and patient, and loving, and kind, and everything else you can think of. She is one of the loves of my life. She makes me laugh, and think, and inquire, and self examine, and knowing her has made me a better person. She always sees the good side of people. I say all of this because for the past two months she has read our blog, heard my adoption obsession and asked about how our journey was coming along, and gave encouragement and words of wisdom. Last night, while we were on the phone talking about each other's plans for the long week end and long summer vacations she said; "I wish you could come with us to Hawaii." So I said, "you know Hawaii has never been my number one destination." She finally said that she wished we could go because she and her long time boy are GETTING MARRIED. I am so happy for them. They love each other for ever already. Today I am only posting to say: congratulations, my little friend. I love you.

Everytime I try to get our, they pull me back in.

Let me explain: Fernando went to pick up his employment verification letter from his wonderful contact in the HR department of his school district. When I opened one of the envelopes, the letter looked great. I thought we were out of the bureaucratic mess. Well, we are not. When I turned the page to look at the notary statement, she had made a mistake and put Fernando's name as the person signing the letter instead of the director of HR. I called our contact, and was sorry to tell her that the notary had made a big mistake, and that we could not use the letters because we are not allowed to un-staple and re-stapel, hence, they had to draft brand new letters!!!!! I'm so bummed. Any way, on another front, I think our last 2 letters of recommendation should be in by the end of this week, so this takes some of the load off. On another front, we should be getting our third set of fingerprints this week to send off to the FBI. And our medical information should be in by the end of next week.

Getting Oh So Close

Today we met with Maggie for the third and last time regarding our home study. We are so happy to be done with that process, not because we don't enjoy Maggie, but because that means we are a little closer to meeting our babe. Also, Fernando's HR contact has come through! He will be able to pick up his employment letters by Monday during lunch time. I'm so happy that our patience and relentlessness paid off. Now, we're only waiting for Fernando's lab results, my birth certificate, our FBI stuff, and 2 letters of recommendation. Then we should be able to put our dossier together to get the authentication done and sent off to the Ethiopian officials. We hope to be able to get all of this done by the end of June. We began the process in early March, so we've been at this for almost 3 months now...I think we're keeping good pace.

I've been in constant negotiations with Fernando's HR people. I think I'm making some headway. I will send the woman whom I've been talking with the documents that state that I need these certified copies of the letter of employment. I will also ask Maggie from Heartsent send them a note, and perhaps Mary from Gladney can send her one about Gladney's requirement and the dossier requirement. We'll see what happens...I guess it isn't only the Mexican governmental offices who give people a difficult time over the smallest of details!
On another note, Fernando will be getting his physical done tomorrow. As soon as his results are in, I will be able to arrange the notary thing at Kaiser. We also need to get our third and last set of fingerprints for our FBI paperwork. I think I can see a little tiny light at the end of the paperwork tunnel.

About a week or two ago, I went to the human resources department at work and asked Sharron if she could write me the letter of employment necessary for our dossier, I told her we would have to go to the AAA together to get the letter notarized and she informed me that Peggy was a notary public; so there was no need to go to AAA. She had the letter ready in no time and Peggy gave me 3 notarized copies immediately. They were both fantastic and seemed to be very excited about being able to help out in this most important project.
On Friday, I called the human resources department in Fernando's work and the experience couldn't have been more opposite. I first spoke to one lady, she informed me that I needed to speak with the person in charge of writing those letters. When I spoke with her she wanted me to give her the name and address of the people who wanted the letter so that she could send them the letter...she never expressed any excitement of the prospect of our adoption. I explained to her that the letters would be sent to the adoption agencies and to the Ethiopian government. She still couldn't help me. Then she said that Fernando had to make the request in writing. So I sent her an e-mail from Fernando's account and didn't hear back from her (arrrrggg! as I write this I just remembered that I didn't specify that we needed 3 originals notarized and one plain for our records). Any way, I called her today, and she said that they don't have a notary on site-she's out on maternity leave, and that she would have to speak to her supervisor (who so happens to be the same woman I originally spoke with). I told her to leave her a message on my behalf, and that I would like to speak with the supervisor to explain to her the urgency of the matter--I never heard back!

I have decided to feature works from Ethiopian artists as openers to my little adoption trials and tribulations. I hope every one enjoys them. I haven't written in some time, but it seems that the few things that our Gladney file is still missing are beyond our control. We are only missing our notarized health checks, 2 of our reference letters, and our home study report. Oh and, how could I overlook this, my birth certificate. I hope I get that in the mail soon!
Today I was happy to see that both the Fulkners and Bottomlys met their boys. Wow, I can't even believe how fantastic it is to be able to share their experience! When I see them and their new babies, it is quite reassuring that this is an inevitable journey for our family... how could we not adopt? I was reading the Swerl Blog and it seems that they are going through a bad patch. I urge them to see the latest posts from the people I just mentioned...they will find themselves sure again.

Kaiser

Just a quick note to inform everyone how much I LOVE Kaiser. Now, I know there is a great deal of skepticism about this HMO, but for me, it has been the greatest. Throughout my pregnancy I received amazing care, and labor and delivery was fabulous. The level of care is unmatched. Today I went to my physical. I brought all my forms (Heartsent, Gladney and Dossier). I was called in immediately, my doctor thought all that was asked for was over the top, but didn't question anything. She also said I could e-mail her once my labs were in so that we could coordinate a time for the notary to come to her office (she said I don't need to make a formal appointment). Well, then she ordered ALL my labs and I was on my way. As of 10 minutes ago I have received 2 emails from Kaiser with 4 of my lab results!

Clean, clean, clean until your body can clean no more

Well, I am my mother's daughter. I remember, when I was little, my mom getting so worked up about getting the house to look just perfect before company arrive that, in my mind, she turned into a frantic cleaning machine that gave orders to us about how we had to get our rooms in just the right condition.
For the past week, I've been cleaning, de-cluttering, planting, ripping plants out, folding clothes, going to the Good Will, cleaning our home office, going through drawers, and basically becoming a cleaning machine that gives orders to others about how to get everything just in the right condition for the home visit from Maggie.
Now, I know that the point of the home visit as far as Heartsent is concerned is not to criticize or judge a person's home keeping skills but, being that I grew up around women who commented on every one's home and deconstructed every inch of their friend's decorating and cleaning skills (whether their own or their house keepers) I couldn't leave one inch of the house without at least a good wipe down.
So it took Maggie, Marina and me 5 minutes to look around our little home, including the yards! As expected Maggie didn't take a second look at the cleaning aspect of our home, but as to the quality of life we will be providing our baby girl and Marina, way to go Maggie!
After interviewing me and then Fernando (for about an hour each), Marina got her little turn and Maggie was off to her own home.
Thankfully, we went out to dinner and relaxed.

Kevin & Sam

I woke up early this morning because Fernando and I had made plans to meet with Kevin and Sam at Il Fornaio. After breakfast we had committed to attend the orientation at Heartsent. We figured that if there wasn't a friendship spark, the orientation was the perfect excuse to cut the awkward breakfast short. Well, Fernando overslept so it was Cindy, Marina and me who went to meet this other soon to be parents of an Ethiopian girl.
I wish we could have talked longer! Kevin and Sam are fabulous! not to mention their little boys, who are magical. We got along great, and were happy to find that we have similar ideas about so many topics. I hope they felt the same way. In the end we had to leave quickly without making any real plans to meet again. Next weekend there is some sort of potluck with other soon to be parents of Ethiopian children (should I start a trend of calling us SPECs? I don't like the term adoptive parents: we're just parents), so if we remember to go, we'll see them there.
The orientation at Heartsent was really good. It had a very personal feeling with a video to begin with, and newly united families talking about their experiences.
I'm off to translate some documents.

Bureaucracy

Who knew getting a certified copy of my Mexican birth certificate would be this complicated? I have tried on numerous occasions to get a copy of my birth certificate. I called the Mexican consulate general and they were of no help. I thought that when Cindy was in Mexico City, she could do this for me, but alas she was crazy busy with her students and Mexican governmental offices pretty much are nonexistent for any holy day (in this case; week). So yesterday I decided to try my luck in person. I knew I was taking a chance and that my experience there would be quite different from Fernando's visits to his consulate general (consider the difference in number of Spanish immigrants in L.A. vs. that of Mexican immigrants...staggering), but I ventured anyway. Let me describe the scene: Parking was surprisingly easy, so I was encouraged. As I walked towards the gate, it became clear that there was an entire street economy all based on the needs you might have once you entered the consulate...this typically signals a long wait and unexpected surprises. There was a lunch car selling everything and anything you can imagine in edible goods. There were people selling black ink pens trying to convince anyone that would make eye contact that you couldn't get anything done inside the gates without their pens. There were people asking if we needed help filling the "overly complicated" forms. There were so many people there, I was a little taken aback, but proceeded. Anyway, as soon as the guard took a cursory look in my purse, I was in the gate and told to go up the stairs to the 4th floor (somehow we were already in the third floor so there were not so many stairs...what do the old or disable do?) The 4th floor was EMPTY. Why are there so many people outside if this place is empty? So I tell the lady my issue and she says; "we probably can't help you, but sign in and take a seat." I wait, and wait, and wait. There are people, who work there having casual conversations, going in, taking a seat and having conversations with their buddies. I read, and read, and read. Finally I get called into an office. The man behind the desk greets me, I began telling him what I needed, and suddenly he says; "excuse me." He reaches to his waist, picks up his cell phone (which apparently had been vibrating) and proceeds to have a lengthy conversation about what time he got home last night and how much fun it was and blah, blah, blah. Unbelievable! And I had to sit there and pretend this wasn't bothering me, because he might be able to help me and I don't want to upset him and ruin my chances at getting my birth certificate! After he hangs up he gives me some feeble explanation of his wife, I give him a courtesy laugh and try to move on to business. He explains how the consulate has no way of attaining these documents and I just sit there, quiet, listening. I think that made him a little uncomfortable, because he began to make some phone calls, gave my information to someone and finally said; "call this number next Friday and they will be able to help you." After thanking him profusely for, I don't know what, I left empty handed but oddly accomplished.

My next stop, the county recorders office to pick up a more recent copy of our marriage certificate. That took 3 minutes, $13 and I was on my way with documents in hand.
While I did all this, Fernando had his turn at the CIS fingerprinting, HA!

Maggie is awesome!

Today we met with Maggie (from Heartsent) for our first of three formal home study visits. Maggie is awesome! She made us feel very comfortable. It is evident that she knows what she's doing. When our visit was over both Fernando and I felt like we'd had a great time, conversing with a friend. She never really asked us questions, but led the conversation in the direction she needed. WOW! We spent about an hour and made our appointment for the next visit (at our home).
I am so tired today. I told Fernando that I was going to write this and then head off to bed. He was watching some the game between the Golden State and the Dallas (I have no idea about this stuff), and he switch the channel to, of all things, American Idol. Those of you who know me, know how much I dislike this show. I am embarrassed by it and the fact that so many more people vote for American Idol, than for actual political officials who will affect our lives directly. Now that that is out of the way, the point is that right then the announcer introduced a clip from a singer (a previous winner) who visits orphans in Africa...can you believe that I was crying. I was moved. Especially after the next segment when one of the judges visits some families. I think it's also because I've been reading There is no me without you. And because we are feeling it so close to our home and our hearts. Seeing the little faces of the beautiful African children makes me think that I'm going to want to take them all home when we get to go pick up our little baby girl. Like I promised, I'm off to bed before I fall over from sheer exhaustion and tears.

Back on

Well we played a bit of phone tag, and after a few messages, it seems that we are back on for our home study, with Maggie, for Wednesday afternoon. We are so happy.

Today I got a call from Tonia at Gladney. She was great. She noticed that most of our paperwork is in to them and put me through to Mary so that she could give me some dossier information. I think we're going to try to go through the process on our own, if it goes slower than we think, then we'll rethink our strategy.

I made a few calls today to the Mexican Consulate General, the Secretary of State, and the Los Angeles Vital Records offices. I got all the information I need in order to get things done at each place. We'll see how it goes.

Frustrated

Yesterday we were rescheduled to meet with Maggie and again she cancelled. I know she felt awful, and I know I should be understanding, and when I talked to her I was, however I am somewhat frustrated. The thing is that she does this for a living, so perhaps she doesn't have the sense of urgency that we do. It's kind of like when you call 911 and they tell you to calm down. You are frantic, because you don't live an EMERGENCY every day, in contrast to the 911 operator who deals with at least 15 emergencies an hour. Any way, I'm also in a sense of panic because I want to get our dossier to Ethiopia before the rainy season. It seems that the courts close during the months of August and September. I imagine our baby spending two months of the rainy season away from us...it crushes me when I picture this. Not that she won't be well taken care of, but she won't be home with us.
I heard a story on NPR, during This American Life, about these two men who went through an open adoption. The one telling the story described the moment in which they took the baby home from the hospital. He had envisioned this amazing scene, but the reality was dreadful. It got me thinking...and picturing our baby's mother. I feel for her. I feel lots of things for her. I feel rage against the world for allowing poverty for forcing her to give up her child, for the fact that she is a casualty of the imbalance of wealth..and for so many things, I can't begin to list them all. We have a child that we were able to keep... We will have her child and and we will keep her well. We will love her, and kiss her and raise her to be a caring adult, not just for those around her but for all the world's people. We will honor her culture and ours and we hope that one day mothers aren't forced to give up their children due to poverty.

Cancelled

Yesterday I made arrangements with Wendy to pick up Marina from school when she got her daughter, and take her with them to swimming class. We were scheduled to have our first of three home visit meetings with Maggie (our social worker from Heartsent). As I was getting onto the freeway to make my lunchtime fingerprinting appointment at the El Monte CIS office, I received a call from Maggie asking if we could reschedule for tomorrow. After calling Fernando, I called her back to let her know that was fine. I was a little disappointed, because I want to get EVERYTHING done ALREADY and just wait for our referral. Could I be any more impatient? Anyway, back to CIS. I got to the office (on the second floor of a diminutive strip mall (with no parking!) and the kind security guard informed me that I had to go back to my car to drop off my mobile phone, because they were not allowed inside the office. He gave me a number and I was off. My number was called fairly swiftly and I thought "wow, this is going quite smoothly...I thought too soon. Once my invitation was marked, I was told to wait in the other waiting area (same room with the chairs facing in a different direction) and wait for my same number to be called. The little screen said "160" (the same number than when I took my phone to the car), the number in my hand read "185." I know I shouldn't complain, but this is only an observation...it seems that the people in this office are, most likely, trained with the people from the DMV, because they all seem to walk at the same slow rate, and avoid eye contact with anyone sitting in the waiting area. It is quite difficult not to begin fuming after 30 minutes have passed and the number on the screen is 165. Somehow I kept my spirits up and thought of all the time that I will be waiting for our referral and how this was a good exercise in patience. Once my fingerprints were done I felt an overwhelming sense of relief knowing that this got us closer to bringing our baby home. Fernando will probably go get his fingerprints done at the same place. I will make sure he takes good reading material with him...the two televisions there are not a good way to spend your time.

Immigration!!!

Unbelievable! Our CIS checks cleared only 2 days ago, and today I received notice from them that we have our fingerprinting appointments. They asked for Fernando's proof of residency as part of the approval process. I feel so excited, this process is going very well. I know, I know, we've only just begun, and I should expect lots of bumps in the road ahead, but I can't help feeling optimistic. Today I gave two of my referrals their instructions with FedEx envelopes prepared. I also prepared the paperwork for Marina's pediatrician. Everyone is so wonderfully helpful. Well, I'm off to bed.

Application sent

Today was very busy, I sent in the bulk of the Gladney paperwork. Here are the pictures we sent.

Now I only have to worry about our physicals, Marina's statement of good health from her pediatrician, our 4 references, and forwarding our criminal and child abuse clearance reports from our home study agency. I'm beat!
On Friday the 13 we got our taxes done, and I'm so glad because we got a good return and I was able to send off the first chuck of change to Gladney. There is still so much to do.
For those of you that are members of AAA So Ca Auto Club, you should know that if you become a premier member you get 10 notary signatures per day at no charge. Wow!!
We have to go back to AAA with Marina because we need passport pictures for our Dossier and passports renewals.
Well, I'm off to work on my reports for work, and then off to bed to get at least a couple hours rest.

Obnoxious (I like the way this word sounds)

Today Marina, Fernando and I went to get his fingerprints done at PCC. We then dropped the proof at Heartsent. While there, we notarized our financial statement (by the way, the girls loved the cupcakes from Violet's - the owner told me that she too had adopted internationally!)

Any way, we then had our telephone orientation with Judy. She is so patient and great. She cleared up so much! So, we FedExed our request for application immediately and are eager to begin all our paperwork (yes, I know how obnoxious that sounds).

We also went to Kaiser to find out how to go about the notarizing of our physicals...we have to coordinate with our primary MD and will probably have the notary meet us at the Kaiser office at the time we pick up Fernando's results-in mid May.

In the evening we headed to Santa Monica for a well deserved relaxing time at the beach...the waves were incredible!

On my birthday

Well, today is my birthday and I am happy to report that I have been receiving just what I wanted. Today, Marina and I did the following:

• Went to get coffee and a little something to nibble at, and read Peter Rabbit.
• Went to PCC to get fingerprinted (only me)
• Went to the local library to get a book for Marina
• Went to the bank to get our account verification
• Went to Heartsent to drop off sooooo much
• Went to play with Marina's preschool friends

Now Marina is taking a well deserved nap and I am looking over the ever lasting list of things that I must accomplish...not to mention the beds I should be making and the stuff I should be picking up...more later.

Now it's later. Well, I couldn't stop, so I put together the I-600A and FedExed it. It is now in SunValley, CA (wherever that is). By the time I tried going back to Heartsent (to give them a copy of the I-600A), they had closed...I'll go again tomorrow! (I hope they don't grow sick of me...maybe I'll take them a snack, that always makes people glad to see you).

We went by Borders and picked up The Complete Book of International Adoption. Now I'm off to tuck Marina into bed, read her a couple stories, kiss her good night and think abut the baby who will soon share the excitement of the mundane of our loving home.

Home Study

Today we dropped Marina off at Luke's house (her classmate-whose mother was kind enough to help us; so that we could go to our home study appointment). We met with Kerry for about an hour and she went over the entire process. We are eager to get started with ALL the steps at once. Kerry said it should take about 8 weeks...some how everything takes 8 weeks. She said that as soon as we get all the information from Gladney we can get started with gathering information since we will probably need the same things for Heartsent, and there is no sense in doing double the work. I've made the appointment for my physical and we will be getting our fingerprints on Monday. As I was looking over the list of things we need, it struck me that we already have most of the documents needed.

On another note, I checked the Faulkner and Ethiopia or bust blogs, and they RECEIVED their REFERRALS!!!!!!!! I am so happy for them both. It seems it was about 7 months from the time they began the process. Wow! they are so fortunate to be nearing the finish line. I feel like I'm at the gym locker room changing into my gym clothes as they are changing into their street clothes.

Spring Break

Marina is off from school for two weeks, and Fernando and I are only off for one (the week of the 9th). Fernando took Monday and Tuesday off from work. Today and tomorrow are my days. So here is what Marina and I accomplished today.

• Hand deliver our application for a home study to Heartsent Adoptions Inc.
• Make our 1st appointment with Heartsent (Friday, April 6th @ 1pm)
• Visit the Spanish Consulate General in LA to get certified copies of Fernando's birth certificate.
• Got instructions on how to make our baby legally part of our family under Spanish law (while in Addis Ababa we have to visit the Spanish Embassy - good to know before it was too late).

At this pace, I wonder how much I can get done through Spring Break?

Information Received

Finally, Judy from Gladney called and e-mailed me today to let me know that she received our Information Sheet. She is so kind, and patient. I’m sure that she gets tons of people like us who just can’t wait until they get their hands on their beautiful Ethiopian babies. Any way we will be having a phone conference on the 11th of April, to go over the adoption process. We are so happy, imagine how we’ll be when we actually get our baby!
On another front, Fernando is finishing his portion of the Home Study application process. We should be ready to send that off by Monday, and considering that Heartsent is in Pasadena, we shouldn’t have to wait too long before they start their process.
Also, Cindy is doing me the great favor of going to the “registro civil” in Mexico City to get official copies of my birth certificate. I’m getting about 5 copies (just in case). I’m very grateful to her because I contacted the Mexican Consulate and they said that they could not process my request. It needed to be done in Mexico…what is a consulate for, if not to help you with official business?

Pictures of Ethiopian Children

I found this Spanish web site about Ethiopia adoptions http://www.afne.org/main_e.html. On the, right-hand-side, list of links, find the one called "album de fotos." You will see the most beautiful babies ever!

An assignment

On Monday I called Gladney to let them know I had sent the Information Form. Judy was quite perceptive and gave me an assignment; to make the wait more bearable. I began researching Home Study agencies and after a few calls one of the agencies referred me to a few places near our home. I asked a couple of them to send me information. Now I have been checking the mailbox eagerly. Oh, I also found Fernando's and my birth certificates and our marriage certificate. Who knew that a 1140 square foot home had so much space to hide documents safely; even from the person who put them away.

Picture of our family

So yesterday our neighbor, Janelle, came over to take our family picture. Now our Adoption Information Sheet is complete; including the $50.00 fee. I will be mailing it off to Gladney today. We can't wait to hear back. Yesterday Cindy and I were discussing names for the baby. Fernando and I struggled so much to come up with our first's name, I don't know if we will decide on a name untill we see our little one's face.

We are having a baby!!

On March 3rd Fernando and I decided to adopt a baby girl from Ethiopia. The next day the research began. Long story short we hope to work with Gladney Center for Adoption-http://www.adoptionsbygladney.com/html/international/ethiopia/index.shtml

Since our decision, we've been hard at work trying to get things together. I think I'm getting ahead of myself and need to slow down.

We are so excited we are jumping out of our skin. Every one we have told about our decision is extremely supportive and this makes us more certain that we are doing the right thing.